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Scott Vejdani
Leading with Questions: How Leaders Discover Powerful Answers by Knowing How and What to Ask - by Michael J. Marquardt and Bob Tiede

Leading with Questions: How Leaders Discover Powerful Answers by Knowing How and What to Ask - by Michael J. Marquardt and Bob Tiede

Date read: 2019-06-30
How strongly I recommend it: 4/10
(See my list of 150+ books, for more.)

Go to the Amazon page for details and reviews.

A blog post turned into a book, this book was very redundant and 150 pages too long. The best parts are the quotes and advice from referenced leaders.

My Notes

The key difference between leaders and managers is that leaders focus on getting to the right questions, whereas managers focus on finding solutions to those questions.

He asked each person these three questions:

Whenever I didn't get the results I was looking for, I tried to look inward before flying off the handle. I also asked myself three questions each time:
  1. Did I clearly articulate the goals I was trying to achieve?
  2. Did I give people the time and resources they needed to succeed?
  3. Did I give them enough training to get the job done properly?
Eighty percent of the time, I found that I was part of the problem and that, through my actions alone, I could have altered the outcome significantly.

His first question was always, "Why do we do it this way?" If the answer was, Because this is the way it's always been done, I would say, That's not good enough. Find out if there is a better way to do this.

When an organization has a questioning culture, the people in it: There is no such thing as the correct answer. Rajab says the point of asking questions is to gain perspective.

In reality, if seven people experience the same problem, they will probably come up with seven different descriptions of what the problem is.

A central aspect of the reflective inquiry process is to encourage people to ask dumb questions or, more accurately, fresh questions.

Those who have the inability to ask questions have problems with their ego.

A better approach to thinking as a collective unit is to first define the question as a group. Then ask individuals to take time out and do something interesting but repetitive and simple for a while, and allow the unconscious brain to do the solving for you.

At Walmart everyone is encouraged to look for things that don't seem right and ask questions. It is called ETDT: eliminate the dumb things.

Empowering questions, on the other hand, get people to think and allow them to discover their own answers, thus developing self-responsibility and transference of ownership for the results. Such questions can help them realize how they are contributing to the whole. Empowering questions build positive attitudes and self-esteem; they remove blocks and open people up to unexpected possibilities while inviting discovery, creativity, and innovation.

Leaders ask questions such as these: Ask yourself: What have I done to make those around me better, stronger leaders?

Questions can be classified into two general categories: open-ended questions and closed questions.


Open-ended questions: gives the person or group a high degree of freedom in deciding how to respond. In contrast, closed questions seek a short, specific response, like yes or no.

Useful phrases to use with open-ended questions include the following: Why questions are perhaps the most important types of open-ended questions for leaders to ask, as these questions force everyone to go into deeper layers of cause and effect, of purposes and assumptions: Content questions ask about the data used to solve a problem or make a decision; process questions focus on how the problem was solved or the decision made. Both are essential to good problem solving and decision making.

Here are some examples of questions asked from the learner mindset: Effective leaders know that the question of who often must be left off the table to get accurate answers to the questions of what and why. Even when issues of who must be addressed, effective leaders know that the best approach is to be the supportive coach rather than the judging boss.

By asking why and what questions (simple but effective), less often than who and when questions, I was much more effective at [helping them navigate] the system.

Avoid focusing on your own role (which can lead to a self-protective approach) and take the role of an outside observer, researcher, or reporter. Look at the situation from multiple perspectives, especially your respondents'.

Ask clarifying questions.

Before we ask a question, we should preview it in our minds from the other person's point of view to determine whether the question as phrased will be truly helpful. If you are unsure how a question might be taken, be frank and say so. For example, you might say, I'm not sure how to ask this question, but...?

I value your opinion highly, so I would appreciate it if you could tell me...In this way, you are asking for a gift rather than demanding something in a manner the other person may regard as improper or threatening.

When, however, you find that you are confronting a difficult issue, and you want to plan things out ahead of time, it can be useful to follow a simple process. First, break the ice and get the conversation going. Second, set the stage for the conversation by explaining what you want to talk about. Third, ask what you want to ask. Fourth, listen attentively to the answers. Fifth, and most important, follow up.

One way to set the stage is to explain what you hope the outcome of the conversation will be. Spell it out, as in the following statements: I hope to get a better understanding of why we are having this problem.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Try to ask one question at a time. Too often we overwhelm or confuse people by asking several questions simultaneously. Allow for a response before asking the next question.

If you find yourself talking quickly or getting shorter and shorter answers, back off for a time or otherwise slow down the proceedings.

Leaders should be comfortable when there is no immediate response to a question. Allow the people being questioned to reflect, and let them know that you are comfortable with the silence.

When you get a response, say thank you. This will increase the likelihood that you'll get more and deeper answers the next time you ask.

Peter Drucker and others have noted that the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.

During my staff meetings I bring up agenda items pertaining to the group's area of responsibility. We may have a customer with a dramatic increase in unexpected volume that requires immediate attention. I will start by asking them to clearly define the problem; then we start listing alternatives to fix our problem. I keep prodding them to give more alternatives and will only volunteer some of my alternatives after I have exhausted all of their alternatives. All of them understand that no alternative is wrong or inappropriate, that we want to get everything out on the table. After the options are out, we then look at the up and down side of each and continue to proceed to narrow them down until we have a basic course of action. This is the way we solve the problems of the day, week, or month. Peter Drucker and others have noted that the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.

As a leader, you have a number of ways to demonstrate that you are listening to and caring about the person you are questioning: Pause at the end of a question so that the answerer can think, formulate, and deliver an answer. Once you have asked your questions, listen.

Listen patiently, without interrupting. Interrupting may show you are not interested in the response or the respondent.

Focus your listening by asking questions such as What is useful about this? and What can I learn? rather than Whose fault is this?

Following up after a questioning conversation is critically important. Someone who has openly and thoughtfully answered your questions deserves to know what you did with the information.

Connect the values and processes of the organization to the use of questions.

Reward and appreciate questioners; promote risk taking and tolerate mistakes.

At our meetings, we begin by identifying the three critical questions that we need to answer during that meeting. At the end, we ask how well we did. The leader of the meeting determines the questions. Every meeting has a purpose and should have some final products; usually the products are the answers to those questions.

An organization espousing loyalty as a value needs to be clear about what sort of loyalty it is promoting. Loyalty to the organization, or to the truth, may not hamper a questioning culture. When loyalty is focused on supporting the current leadership, however, a questioning culture may be impossible.

Do our values support questions? If they do, have we really been living our values? If they do not, should we reexamine them and perhaps find more appropriate values?

Managers have the responsibility of creating an environment in which their employees have the space to figure out the answers to questions. David says that the better approach to thinking as a collective unit is to define a question as a group, then for individuals to take time out and do something interesting but repetitive and simple for a while, and allow your nonconscious brain to do the solving for you.

Encourage fresh questions by highlighting the benefits of questions and the tragedies caused when crucial questions were not asked (such as the Titanic, Challenger, and Bay of Pigs stories in Chapter 1). Share stories and case examples of how and when questions changed teams and organizations. Present some of the hows and whys of building a culture for questions, learning, and innovation, using this book as a resource. Resource C at the end of the book provides further ideas on training people in the art of asking questions.

People don't resist change so much as they resist being changed. In other words, the way to get others to adopt a questioning leadership style is to ask them to do so rather than tell them to do so.

Two questions that I now frequently use are:
  1. If you do nothing about this situation, what might be some consequences/outcomes that will unfold? (This is asked of someone after helping that person think of an ideal state of affairs versus the current state of affairs.)

  2. What if you are wrong? How would it affect your position? Asking what if . . . allows the person to think of the other perspective that might be possible, so that he or she is prepared to cover all grounds and have contingency plans to act, just in case.
What I came to realize is that solving others' problems is exhausting. It is much more effective to provide the opportunity for them to solve their own problems. So instead of jumping in with a quick response when someone would come to me, I began responding this way: Well, I am sure you have had time to think about this and have your own ideas; what have you come up with?

What have you done today to develop your leadership skills?

Clarke-Epstein, in her research on great questions for leaders, received suggestions such as the following, which would be very effective to ask employees during performance appraisal sessions: There is always one more question to ask. One of the most powerful questions is one that I ask at the end: Are there any questions that I have not asked you that I should have asked you and, if so, can we discuss them now?

Do you consider yourself successful in life so far?

Instead of selling your idea, ask meeting participants to identify why your idea won't work. Then listen carefully to what people say. This legitimizes the sharing of doubts and shifts the process from selling to co-creation. Give everyone a chance to speak by going around the room and asking where people stand on an issue. Many times conversations are dominated by one or two people. Hearing from everyone often shifts the conversation and allows you to bring closure to an issue.

At the end of each session, help the group learn by asking some of the following questions: Effective problem solving requires an environment that allows for and encourages people to ask dumb or, more accurately, fresh questions.

The right questions will lead us to right answers.

Particular types of questions that may be most beneficial at each stage of the problem-solving process:
  • Problem articulation and reframing: What questions are best at this stage; they allow the group to gather details and descriptions of the situation and help members understand the real problem and thus reframe it in a way that everyone can agree on. For example, What is the most import thing...?

  • Problem analysis stage: At this stage, why questions are most helpful; questions such as Why is that important? Why do you think it happened? Why were you feeling that way?

  • Hypothesis generation or diagnosis stage: How questions allow the group or individual to begin to formulate a tentative theory to explain or address the problem: How is this situation similar to or different from other problems? How might you do things differently? How could we intervene?

  • Action stage: At this stage, the group may be seeking to describe behavior (test for different behaviors) or to share inferences (test for different views); what questions become important again. What are the implications of all this for future action? What should you do now?

    • In 78 Important Questions Every Leader Should Ask and Answer, Clarke-Epstein has identified several questions that she considers the most critical to ask customers: Unhelpful Leading Questions: