Say It Well: Creating and Tailoring Value-Driven Communication - by Derek C. Lott
Date read: 2019-08-11How strongly I recommend it: 9/10
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Great book for those looking to improve their presentation and communication skills. Great, practical advice; short and concise.
Contents:
- HOW TO CREATE ENDLESS CONTENT
- HOW TO ORGNAIZE YOUR CONTENT
- HOW TO TAILOR & ACCESSORIZE YOUR MESSAGE
- STORYTELLING
- CONNECTING WITH YOUR AUDIENCE
- OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING
My Notes
If you can't say something interesting or of value, don't say anything at all. Your reputation is often built on what others receive from you, whether tangible or intangible. Be sure when you bring a thought or idea to a conversation, it adds something of value to those listening.
Grab a pen and do the following exercise with me. You will be creating a Tree of Content, or what I call TOC. Take out a piece of paper and draw a circle and write YOU in the center of the circle at the top of the page. Then draw a branch from the circle with the word FAMILY inside. Talking about family is very broad, so I want you to begin to write several branches off family. Let's write Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Grandmother, Grandfather, Uncle, Aunt, Cousins, as many of these as apply to your family.
The point of this exercise is to branch from YOU in one area of your life. I call this activity treeing or branching. As you continue, the next levels down are where the topics get really interesting.
We could talk about your career. We could talk about your hobbies, your relationships, or any of your other main interests. These broad categories are just a drop on the surface of a pool of endless content, the proverbial tip of the iceberg.
The most effective communications are transparent; to do otherwise limits the value that the listener can receive from the discussion. This can limit transparency and stilt your communication before you even begin.
The ability to be transparent and vulnerable is part of what makes the difference between good and great and makes great speakers and conversationalists so compelling.
Jimmy Valvano, the great NC State coach, said: When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.
I keep a stack of blank index cards in my car and another set at my desk at work. Whenever a particularly interesting thought crosses my mind, I write it down. One topic or quote per notecard. The notecard system is a great way to keep from getting overwhelmed when planning what to say.
The First Step is to Create an Introduction Compile a couple of sentences that grab the listener's attention; then speak to what your topic is all about. For the outline, you are not writing a full introduction; just the key information for you to set in your opening thoughts in your mind.
A quote is a great way to start a conversation because it gives you shared credibility with the person you are quoting. You can follow it with a sentence explaining what you're going to cover and why it is important.
The next step is to define three descriptive points that will support your topic-these points will trigger your memory.
I am convinced that a story is the best way to deliver any message to an audience.
Acronyms and analogies both help your audience retain the important information from your speech.
There are a few strategic musts when planning your conclusion:
One approach to closing is to replay the introductory quote or paraphrase it. You could also use another quote if it relates well. Then share the replay of your points with the associated acronym or analogy. Do not rehash the points, merely state them.
Your topic can be like good-fitting work attire. You can start with one off the rack, but you will want to add some tailoring to make it attractive to your listeners.
Take the time to customize your message to the specific audience. A canned message that has been delivered, rehearsed and delivered again in the exact same way will lack emotion and leave your audience feeling like they missed something.
One of the most powerful lessons I have learned is people love to hear their name.
Word cues like cities and group names can work to capture the interest of your listeners.
Target the largest group in the room and give them a mention from your platform.
Be careful to consider the emotional implication of your communications. Everything isn't funny to everyone all the time. Tailoring could keep a valued and trusted relationship intact.
There are four types of accessories that can breathe new life into an existing speech or make the speech more provocative: Words Quotes Language Emphasis.
Your best friend, as you accessorize with words, is the age-old thesaurus.
List of the language tools and mechanisms that will unlock new opportunities for how you communicate:
A story must be relatable.
A good story has a plot and setting. A plot consists of a beginning, middle and end. The key is detail without being lengthy and ensuring the audience can visualize the setting.
A great story has vivid imagery.
The people in the story you share have attitudes and dispositions. Describing the characters in this way will make them seem more real and help the members of the audience visualize themselves within the scene(s) of the story.
The biggest mistake any speaker can make is communicating one thing and the audience hearing something different.
Commit to the triple threat, a smile, a nod, and a yes, and the magic is immeasurable.
The important point is that you are creating anchors for your message by using staging. Every area of the stage means something; it correlates to your message. Each time you are at a specific point of the stage, the audience should recall the location and the correlation.
To truly get to know your audience, you need to become a sleuth of sorts. Ask questions, and don't be afraid to aggressively pursue answers about your incoming listeners.
Questions to ask:
The way to look at it is investigate many, interrogate few. You will spend more time with someone in interrogation versus investigation. Your investigative questions may be 30-60 seconds each. That means the two to three folks you consider interrogating would be finished within one to three minutes. You'll be surprised how much information you are able to glean from someone in that time. Plus, if you find a person that is passionate about the event you are speaking at and wants you to succeed, hang onto your hat because you will get far more insight than you bargained for.
Let's look at several questions that work in preparation for taking someone out on a date or any other casual one-on-one encounter:
You can use a lyric like a quote, or you can you use it to initiate an idea.
Speaking doesn't paralyze the accomplished communicator from taking a step forward. They still get sweaty palms, feel like they may lose their lunch, forget one of their major points, or make a fool of themselves. Their knees shake, a cold sweat ensues, and anxiety grips them. If a speaker can internalize that these are the symptoms of fear without allowing the fear to overwhelm them in the moment, fear can be a powerful tool.
Find the people you need to associate with.
You need to know the members of your target community. Who are the people most connected to your ideas, your interests, your information? If you find yourself talking, and nobody is listening, there is nothing wrong with you, you just haven't connected with your audience.
If you are not connected to any groups, try out different hobbies, and you will begin to connect with people of similar interests, and your message will shine through.
Choose your words carefully and make sure they are ones that align with your values and goals. If you are a parent, be an example to your children of the ways to add value to a conversation.
Review of each day. Start a ritual with your loved ones where you close the day with a highlight of the best or worst moments. Encourage each other to talk about a challenge and how they plan to address it.